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Field Guide to Church Fauna: Flits

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The Flit (bounceinicus bounceouticus) is a reclusive creature, so hard to spot that some even doubt their existence. Possessing impeccable timing, these shy animals are able to arrive at the precise moment a worship service is beginning and disappear as soon as it is over (if not slightly before). Many regular observers of church services remain unaware of the existence of the Flit.

Capture of the Flit is almost impossible, even using food as bait. Force and coercion often prove equally ineffective, even the use of potent sprays like HeeBrooz 10-25. Masters of the excuse and the explanation, Flits can avoid all obligations and commitments. They refuse to be pinned down, fight against being fenced in.

Though relatively inoffensive, domestication of the Flit should be a goal of every congregation. As with many of the animals listed in this guide, love and comprehension are the principal tools in dealing effectively with these solitary creatures.


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